Tag Archives: eyes

When I close my eyes…

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Here in this place a veil is drawn, there is so much we don’t see when our eyes are open, but what about when they are closed?

Oh my Lord, I pray that when I close my eyes the darkness surrounding me is the protective darkness of the hem of our Blessed Mother’s mantle.

For here, hidden in the hem of her mantle, Mary’s feet will crush the head of any serpent that ensnares me, Mary’s words and teachings will soak into my ears, my heart, my soul, and knowing that Mary remains lovingly and faithfully near her Son always, I too will be near her sweet and precious Son, our Savior – Jesus Christ!

Close your eyes and let us crawl to the feet of our Blessed Mother and hide in the protective darkness of her mantle!

Luke 1:45
Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!

Come, come and see…

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When I first began writing this blog, I didn’t realize I was searching for Jesus, but now that I have found Him (through His infinite Mercy and Grace alone) how I long to take EVERYONE by the hand and say,

“Come, come and see…”

And then in His infinite kindness and gentleness He whispers – patience my love, they are coming, they will see, they too will find me… theirs is a different path, just as painfully beautiful as yours, but different.  Keep praying, keep loving, and keep listening so that you know when the time is ripe for you to take someone by the hand and say ever so gently and full of My love,

“Come, come and see!!!”

High on a hill

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I saw a man high on a hill.  As I climbed the hill trying to reach him, the terrain became steep.  I called out to him asking for help.  He didn’t move and I realized he could not hear.  I waved my arms trying to get his attention and then realized he could not see.

Oh the irony and the great sorrow, that I have ears to hear and eyes to see my endless failures and flaws that keep me from ever reaching that beautiful summit, and his ears do not hear and his eyes do not see to let him realize that he has reached that beautiful summit.

Oh my sweet Lord, the thought of this is frightening and painful… please open our eyes to see and our ears to hear.

Tonight as He bleeds…

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On this night our Lord will pray in the garden of Gethsemane, suffering in agony as He prays to the point of sweating blood.

What was flashing through His mind in those moments?  What caused Him such great emotional pain  that He physically sweat blood?

Maybe as He knelt there praying, life flashed before His eyes, but instead of seeing His own life, He saw all of our lives flash before His eyes. Our lives became His as He lived each of our lives in His mind, in those moments.  He saw every sin each of us has ever committed as His own sin.

He watched Himself committing these grievous, selfish, terrible and sinful acts. God, His Father, watched Him committing these grievous, selfish, terrible, and sinful acts.

He literally, physically, emotionally, and mentally bore our sins, and yes, I believe watching Himself commit our sins made Him sweat blood.

He Himself bore our sins… – Peter 2:24

Oh my Jesus…  please forgive us, thank You, please forgive us, thank You, please forgive us, thank You, thank You, thank You…

Missing You…

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My friends, I am not sure why but I have been distracted lately.  Jesus hasn’t been at the forefront of my thoughts, instead I have been busy, running around, and missing Him.  We took a yoga class together last night, and usually when He joins me He is helping me through, but last night in my imagination He was sitting there watching me (smiling, but still just watching).  For some reason I have put Him aside instead of welcoming Him in?

As I miss Him, I am thankful for my previous posts that remind me that He is still here watching and waiting for me to call to Him again.

Please pray for me my friends, as you bask in His loving presence, that the veil covering me will be removed yet again, my eyes will be cleansed yet again, and again I will see only Him everywhere and in everyone!

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done!

There is still more work to be done within me!

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I don’t remember the exact context, but I was praying for my husband last week and part of my prayer was for something to change in him.  He didn’t know of my prayer for him, but within hours of this prayer my sweet husband shared a story of when he was young, a sad story that testifies again to his strength, kindness, consideration and the attention he shows others.  It is a story that he had never shared with me and a sad memory for him that breaks my heart.

Shame on me, shame on me to ever think that the work in me is done and I am ready to ask others to change.

The work we must do here is on ourselves.  We only fully know our own stories.  For everyone else we must have compassion, understanding, patience, kindness and love because no matter how close we are to someone, there is always something we do not know.

Jesus thank you for my sweet husband and for bringing us even closer.  Thank you for opening my eyes to even more of his love, kindness and strength and for gently reminding me that there is still more work to be done within me!

Our Best Life might not be comfortable…

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When I originally started this blog, I did not understand very much.  I still don’t understand a lot, but I think I am learning more about myself.

At the beginning there were times when I confused “comfortable life” with “best life”.  As I have continued on my journey this mistake is now so painfully clear that I am actually quite embarrassed to be typing this even though I wish instead of embarrassment I felt thankful for finally realizing this and humbled as I see how blessed I have been to be surrounded by so many comforts.

At the beginning of my search I kept asking questions about my cousin’s premature death…

  1. Why didn’t she get to graduate from college?
  2. Why didn’t she have a chance to fall in love?
  3. Why were we at her funeral instead of her wedding?
  4. Why did she miss out on the joy of motherhood?
  5. How could this have been her best life or part of our best life?

Then a few months ago I pondered the question of whether my cousin’s death was a gift of grace in disguise for our grandfather?

Maybe her life was a gift for our grandfather to finally find what he had been searching for his whole life?  Maybe her life was a gift for me to finally have my eyes opened, if even just a little, to see my own greed and selfishness?

I don’t know the answer to this, but if her death was our gift, then maybe she did live Our Best Life… His will!

What better life could one live than to follow so closely in the footsteps of our sweet Jesus, Who was sacrificed for all of us?

One moment at a time…

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The other morning I fell yet again.

It was the one day of the month when parents can walk their children to their classrooms, see their artwork and help them unpack and get ready for their school day.

The girls were eating slow, laughing a lot and having a ball at breakfast.  I interrupted their little party to tell them them to hurry up.  It didn’t phase them, they kept enjoying their breakfast and each others company.  I rushed them again and again they continued to slowly enjoy their breakfast and their sweet little jokes.  Then I continued complaining about the fact that we were leaving 10 min later than I wanted to leave while brushing their teeth, getting their socks on and urging them into their shoes.  At one point I asked my youngest to please put her shoes on and she started laughing at me and told me that I had already put them on for her.

When we finally arrived at school, I realized that we had forgotten their folders.  My sweet oldest was finally upset.  She is so studious and organized and was very upset about coming to school without her folder.  I felt so bad, but even in the midst of my guilt I didn’t say the right thing.

After getting them to their rooms, I ran home to get their folders.  I then waited at the office while my oldest came to pick up her folder and I finally apologized for being so impatient earlier that morning.

As we hugged she whispered “I forgive you” into my ear.

I think I have finally realized that God did not make me the mother of these three sweet little blessings because of anything I have done, but instead because how strong they are to withstand all of my mistakes and because of everything I still have to learn about patience, goodness, forgiveness and love from them.

God thank You for Your forgiveness every time I fall and thank You for these three blessings in my life who so willingly forgive me as You do!

Please continue to open my eyes to all of their wonderful teachings and keep reminding me to slow down and take everything one moment at a time!

Miracles!

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Do you see miracles everyday?  Do you see miracles in the blossoming of a flower, the beauty of a sunset or the birth of a child?

Or do you believe that the word miracle is too loosely applied to the everyday events and moments of our world?  Do you only see miracles in events such as the parting of the Red Sea, the opening of the eyes of the blind, or the healing of the sick or the lame?

If God parted the Red Sea everyday would this still be a miracle? Would we continue to see this as a miracle?  If Jesus had lived into old age and had continued healing the sick, opening the eyes of the blind, calming storms and walking on water, would these miracles eventually have been taken for granted and become an expected part of everyday life?

Just because a baby is born every few seconds on earth, this doesn’t change the fact that there was less than 1 chance in 10282(million trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion) that life would occur anywhere in the universe at the beginning (as discussed by Dr. Hugh Ross in the article The Probability for Life on Earth).

Despite the minimal chances for life to occur anywhere in the universe at the beginning, miraculously we do exist and miraculously we continue to exist through the new children who are born every few seconds.

Maybe our inability to appreciate the everyday miracles that now seem mundane to us is what is preventing us from seeing and experiencing the extraordinary miracles.

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.  But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
Luke 16:10

Maybe we need to be a little more honest with ourselves regarding the miraculous events that we experience everyday in order for our eyes to be opened to see not just the everyday miracles, but every miracle.

Jesus please continue to open our blind eyes!  Please help us to gratefully see and accept all of Your amazing works and wonders!

Thank You

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Almost every time I pray I ask for my family and friends to be blessed and kept safe, but what does keeping them safe really entail?  What does blessing them really entail?

Do I mean for them to be healthy and kept out of accidents?
Do I mean for them to be comfortable and happy?

Will keeping them safe and blessing them bring them closer to God?  I don’t know.

In Jeremiah 14:11-12
The Lord said to me: Do not pray for the welfare of this people.  Although they fast, I do not hear their cry, and although they offer burnt offering and grain offering, I do not accept them; but by the sword, by famine, and by pestilence I consume them.

Was the Lord asking Jeremiah to refrain from praying for the welfare of these people because He knew that safety, comfort and blessings are not what would bring these people closer to Him?  Is He saying that that they will only cry out to Him, present offerings from their hearts, and truly come closer to Him in times of war, famine and pestilence?

I am not sure, but reading this made me take a step back and wonder.

1.  How often do I cry out to God in true joy and thanksgiving when I am safe, comfortable and blessed?  Do these blessings help bring me closer to Him?

2.  How often do I cry out to God in times of sorrow or conflict?  Do these difficulties and challenges bring me closer to Him?

God wants us to cry out to Him regardless of whether it is in joy or misery.   He wants to be there for us, He wants to be close to us and maybe sometimes we won’t let Him in until the difficult times arise.

God please help us to pray with humility knowing that we don’t know what is best, and help us to have faith that You do know what is best for all of us and will do everything in Your power to help us cry out to You.

Maybe my new prayer should be, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!