I have been back in the gym for four years. I have lovingly come to call my time spent there my worshipful workout. Today as I was climbing my never ending imaginary mountain I realized that my workout has become even more, He has helped me turn this time into a time of self reflection, of self knowledge and confession as He so gently reminds me of my mistakes, failures and sprinkles in the few triumphs when I have truly let Him work through and in me.
Over the past few years I have climbed about 2500 miles on the elliptical at the gym, but the strides He has given me the grace to take down the path of knowing thyself are infinitely more meaningful.
Sweet Lord, as I dig deeper into knowing myself the demons within surround me… You alone are my refuge and I beg you to please let every sorrow filled tear that falls be full of pure and true contrition, and every joy filled tear that falls be full of pure and true praise and gratitude for You!
Some times when I am thinking of Him, reading about Him, listening to a song that fills my soul with Him… I feel a sense of urgency – a deep need to tell others of the great and overwhelming sorrow we will feel when we arrive at the foot of His throne and realize how little we did if anything and how much more we should have done to praise Him with every breath, every action, every thought during this short life of ours.
Then the moment usually passes and I slip back into the world, but NOT TODAY my friends. Today is different… today I said a little prayer when this feeling came over me and I asked Him to give me the words to share. Sweet Lord, I pray that these words are not from me, but from Your Sweet Holy Spirit.
Let our lives be nothing but the echo of God.
I don’t remember the exact context, but I was praying for my husband last week and part of my prayer was for something to change in him. He didn’t know of my prayer for him, but within hours of this prayer my sweet husband shared a story of when he was young, a sad story that testifies again to his strength, kindness, consideration and the attention he shows others. It is a story that he had never shared with me and a sad memory for him that breaks my heart.
Shame on me, shame on me to ever think that the work in me is done and I am ready to ask others to change.
The work we must do here is on ourselves. We only fully know our own stories. For everyone else we must have compassion, understanding, patience, kindness and love because no matter how close we are to someone, there is always something we do not know.
Jesus thank you for my sweet husband and for bringing us even closer. Thank you for opening my eyes to even more of his love, kindness and strength and for gently reminding me that there is still more work to be done within me!
I prayed in a small, quiet chapel this morning. As I sat there I prayed with my head bowed, asking for this, asking for that, apologizing for this, apologizing for that and then just as I was leaving I looked up and saw Christ hanging on the cross.
I was embarrassed to be sitting there so comfortably and so focused on myself without once regarding Him, without once humbly kneeling down to Him as He still hangs there taking on our sins as we continue to pile them on.
What are we doing my friends? He should be a part of every thought, every intention, every action of our lives.
He still hangs there and we still wound Him… it is so sad.
Today I have been thinking about our sweet Jesus and all of the pain and suffering He will go through for me, for you, for all of us. I am so sad.
I keep thinking of Simon the Cyrene helping Him to carry His cross and Veronica leaning in to wipe His face. I want others to be there for Him, for our sweet Jesus, during His pain, during His agony. I have so many friends who love Him so much.
I want to a dream a little dream today. I want to dream that my sweet friends are there with Jesus. I want to imagine all of you quietly standing up and taking up His cross so that Simon’s hands are free to carry our Lord. I want to imagine you sprinkled through the crowd and quietly leaning in as He passes to wipe His face, kiss His wounds, and gently care for Him.
We cannot change what happened, it had to happen, the scriptures had to be fulfilled. Maybe we can dream a little dream to ease His pain, ease His suffering, and send Him our timeless love.
Thank you my friends for helping me to find our sweet Jesus. Please love Him today, please care for Him today, and I pray with all of my heart that you have the honor of being with Him today in our dreams.