I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak.
– Matthew 12:36
Yikes… does this make anyone else nervous? I read this verse today with more attention than ever before, and I thought to myself, “After every other word out of my mouth should be “forgive me”, “I am sorry”, or “thank You”.”
Please pray for me, at the moment I am spiraling down a tunnel of annoyance at almost everything and my patient husband has to listen to a long list of things that annoyed me throughout the day most nights (I am pretty sure that I am annoying him). This is not my usual state of mind, I don’t like it, and I am sure I have spoken many careless, thoughtless, and inconsiderate words while stuck in the muck of my annoyance.
Thank You sweet Lord, thank you sweet friends and please forgive me.
This morning I woke up and remembered that it was our anniversary! As I gazed at my sleeping love, he woke up, gave me a smile and then for a moment he became lost as he gazed into space.
I didn’t want to interrupt his waking moment, but I thought to myself as he became lost in thought… only God knows where he is right now.
In that moment, with that thought, I wanted to melt into our one true Love so that my husband and I could be lost together in His infinite ocean of love.
By losing ourselves or melting into Him we are not lost, but instead find His buried treasure of knowing each other even more deeply. This hidden treasure is wonderful, but even it falls short of a deeper secret waiting for us.
I long to long to lose myself for Him alone.
The other morning I fell yet again.
It was the one day of the month when parents can walk their children to their classrooms, see their artwork and help them unpack and get ready for their school day.
The girls were eating slow, laughing a lot and having a ball at breakfast. I interrupted their little party to tell them them to hurry up. It didn’t phase them, they kept enjoying their breakfast and each others company. I rushed them again and again they continued to slowly enjoy their breakfast and their sweet little jokes. Then I continued complaining about the fact that we were leaving 10 min later than I wanted to leave while brushing their teeth, getting their socks on and urging them into their shoes. At one point I asked my youngest to please put her shoes on and she started laughing at me and told me that I had already put them on for her.
When we finally arrived at school, I realized that we had forgotten their folders. My sweet oldest was finally upset. She is so studious and organized and was very upset about coming to school without her folder. I felt so bad, but even in the midst of my guilt I didn’t say the right thing.
After getting them to their rooms, I ran home to get their folders. I then waited at the office while my oldest came to pick up her folder and I finally apologized for being so impatient earlier that morning.
As we hugged she whispered “I forgive you” into my ear.
I think I have finally realized that God did not make me the mother of these three sweet little blessings because of anything I have done, but instead because how strong they are to withstand all of my mistakes and because of everything I still have to learn about patience, goodness, forgiveness and love from them.
God thank You for Your forgiveness every time I fall and thank You for these three blessings in my life who so willingly forgive me as You do!
Please continue to open my eyes to all of their wonderful teachings and keep reminding me to slow down and take everything one moment at a time!