When I originally started this blog, I did not understand very much. I still don’t understand a lot, but I think I am learning more about myself.
At the beginning there were times when I confused “comfortable life” with “best life”. As I have continued on my journey this mistake is now so painfully clear that I am actually quite embarrassed to be typing this even though I wish instead of embarrassment I felt thankful for finally realizing this and humbled as I see how blessed I have been to be surrounded by so many comforts.
At the beginning of my search I kept asking questions about my cousin’s premature death…
- Why didn’t she get to graduate from college?
- Why didn’t she have a chance to fall in love?
- Why were we at her funeral instead of her wedding?
- Why did she miss out on the joy of motherhood?
- How could this have been her best life or part of our best life?
Then a few months ago I pondered the question of whether my cousin’s death was a gift of grace in disguise for our grandfather?
Maybe her life was a gift for our grandfather to finally find what he had been searching for his whole life? Maybe her life was a gift for me to finally have my eyes opened, if even just a little, to see my own greed and selfishness?
I don’t know the answer to this, but if her death was our gift, then maybe she did live Our Best Life… His will!
What better life could one live than to follow so closely in the footsteps of our sweet Jesus, Who was sacrificed for all of us?