Sometimes I feel as if our sweet Lord is letting me sit in a state of limbo because I refuse to fully accept His will. He gives me opportunities to prove my trust and faith in Him, and I fail time and time again as I stress, obsess and can’t sleep at night over little situations in my life.
He could really shake things up for me by ripping everything I grasp so tightly away, but instead of feeling His temper flare I feel His love as He again gently gives me another chance to prove my trust and faith in Him.
Please my Lord, deepen my faith and trust in You, turn me towards prayer instead of stress and obsession, and continue to gently guide me out of limbo towards an eternal union with You!
The other morning I fell yet again.
It was the one day of the month when parents can walk their children to their classrooms, see their artwork and help them unpack and get ready for their school day.
The girls were eating slow, laughing a lot and having a ball at breakfast. I interrupted their little party to tell them them to hurry up. It didn’t phase them, they kept enjoying their breakfast and each others company. I rushed them again and again they continued to slowly enjoy their breakfast and their sweet little jokes. Then I continued complaining about the fact that we were leaving 10 min later than I wanted to leave while brushing their teeth, getting their socks on and urging them into their shoes. At one point I asked my youngest to please put her shoes on and she started laughing at me and told me that I had already put them on for her.
When we finally arrived at school, I realized that we had forgotten their folders. My sweet oldest was finally upset. She is so studious and organized and was very upset about coming to school without her folder. I felt so bad, but even in the midst of my guilt I didn’t say the right thing.
After getting them to their rooms, I ran home to get their folders. I then waited at the office while my oldest came to pick up her folder and I finally apologized for being so impatient earlier that morning.
As we hugged she whispered “I forgive you” into my ear.
I think I have finally realized that God did not make me the mother of these three sweet little blessings because of anything I have done, but instead because how strong they are to withstand all of my mistakes and because of everything I still have to learn about patience, goodness, forgiveness and love from them.
God thank You for Your forgiveness every time I fall and thank You for these three blessings in my life who so willingly forgive me as You do!
Please continue to open my eyes to all of their wonderful teachings and keep reminding me to slow down and take everything one moment at a time!