Tag Archives: Open

We are no Longer Separated…

I was talking with my daughter today, and we started talking about Jesus.  As we were talking about why He had to die on the cross she answered the question with ease and simplicity by saying, “If He didn’t die on the cross, we wouldn’t have God, because we would still be separated from Him.”

We don’t take our children to church, we don’t send them to bible studies or Sunday school, and despite our failures, He speaks with our children loud and clear and WOW do they listen… I am awe of how He has opened their ears, their eyes and given them such a deep understanding greatly surpassing mine.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You sweet Lord… there is nothing else to say but Thank You!

Trampled Pearls

I spend a lot of time thinking about things I have read, watched or discussed and wondering about interesting or different connections. I love to call these long and extended thought processes my secret thoughts.  My sweet husband always listens faithfully, and sometimes I share them with others, but not often.

One passage in the bible that I have been thinking about on and off for a while is Matthew 8:28-32.


And when he came to the other side, to the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men met him, coming out of the tombs, so fierce that no one could pass that way. And behold, they cried out, “What have you to do with us, O Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the time?” Now a herd of many pigs was feeding at some distance from them. And the demons begged him, saying, “If you cast us out, send us away into the herd of pigs.” And he said to them, “Go.” So they came out and went into the pigs, and behold, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned in the waters. 


What is the point of this?  Why are the pigs included? Originally I thought of it as a followup to Leviticus when the Israelites were told not to eat the flesh of the pig.  I figured that this was further confirmation on how much God dislikes pigs, but this explanation never really felt right.

Then this passage came up again and I was thinking about it immediately on the heels of reading, Matthew 7: 7-8…


Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.


And it occurred to me that the demons had asked Jesus to send them into the herd of pigs, and He had given them their request.  Maybe what God is demonstrating in this passage is that if even a demon can ask and then be given his request, then we must realize how much more Jesus and Our Father in Heaven desire for us to ask so that They can give us our request.

Obviously I don’t know the answer, but I know my thoughts and I know the time put into pondering and developing this secret thought can be thought of as time spent polishing a little pearl God buried within my heart.  When I did share this thought with someone new, I finally experienced what it was like to cast my pearls before swine.  My thoughts were trampled and dismissed and I was upset and hurt for a little while, but now after the hurt has passed I am left regretfully wondering whose pearls have I trampled?

Sweet Lord, please help us to tread gently so that instead of trampling the pearls of others we might have a chance to discover them, learn from them, admire them and cherish them!  Also please help us to ask YOU with full faith that YOU will give!  You have proven it time and time again… it is our memories that constantly fail!

There is still more work to be done within me!

I don’t remember the exact context, but I was praying for my husband last week and part of my prayer was for something to change in him.  He didn’t know of my prayer for him, but within hours of this prayer my sweet husband shared a story of when he was young, a sad story that testifies again to his strength, kindness, consideration and the attention he shows others.  It is a story that he had never shared with me and a sad memory for him that breaks my heart.

Shame on me, shame on me to ever think that the work in me is done and I am ready to ask others to change.

The work we must do here is on ourselves.  We only fully know our own stories.  For everyone else we must have compassion, understanding, patience, kindness and love because no matter how close we are to someone, there is always something we do not know.

Jesus thank you for my sweet husband and for bringing us even closer.  Thank you for opening my eyes to even more of his love, kindness and strength and for gently reminding me that there is still more work to be done within me!

Our Best Life might not be comfortable…

When I originally started this blog, I did not understand very much.  I still don’t understand a lot, but I think I am learning more about myself.

At the beginning there were times when I confused “comfortable life” with “best life”.  As I have continued on my journey this mistake is now so painfully clear that I am actually quite embarrassed to be typing this even though I wish instead of embarrassment I felt thankful for finally realizing this and humbled as I see how blessed I have been to be surrounded by so many comforts.

At the beginning of my search I kept asking questions about my cousin’s premature death…

  1. Why didn’t she get to graduate from college?
  2. Why didn’t she have a chance to fall in love?
  3. Why were we at her funeral instead of her wedding?
  4. Why did she miss out on the joy of motherhood?
  5. How could this have been her best life or part of our best life?

Then a few months ago I pondered the question of whether my cousin’s death was a gift of grace in disguise for our grandfather?

Maybe her life was a gift for our grandfather to finally find what he had been searching for his whole life?  Maybe her life was a gift for me to finally have my eyes opened, if even just a little, to see my own greed and selfishness?

I don’t know the answer to this, but if her death was our gift, then maybe she did live Our Best Life… His will!

What better life could one live than to follow so closely in the footsteps of our sweet Jesus, Who was sacrificed for all of us?

One moment at a time…

The other morning I fell yet again.

It was the one day of the month when parents can walk their children to their classrooms, see their artwork and help them unpack and get ready for their school day.

The girls were eating slow, laughing a lot and having a ball at breakfast.  I interrupted their little party to tell them them to hurry up.  It didn’t phase them, they kept enjoying their breakfast and each others company.  I rushed them again and again they continued to slowly enjoy their breakfast and their sweet little jokes.  Then I continued complaining about the fact that we were leaving 10 min later than I wanted to leave while brushing their teeth, getting their socks on and urging them into their shoes.  At one point I asked my youngest to please put her shoes on and she started laughing at me and told me that I had already put them on for her.

When we finally arrived at school, I realized that we had forgotten their folders.  My sweet oldest was finally upset.  She is so studious and organized and was very upset about coming to school without her folder.  I felt so bad, but even in the midst of my guilt I didn’t say the right thing.

After getting them to their rooms, I ran home to get their folders.  I then waited at the office while my oldest came to pick up her folder and I finally apologized for being so impatient earlier that morning.

As we hugged she whispered “I forgive you” into my ear.

I think I have finally realized that God did not make me the mother of these three sweet little blessings because of anything I have done, but instead because how strong they are to withstand all of my mistakes and because of everything I still have to learn about patience, goodness, forgiveness and love from them.

God thank You for Your forgiveness every time I fall and thank You for these three blessings in my life who so willingly forgive me as You do!

Please continue to open my eyes to all of their wonderful teachings and keep reminding me to slow down and take everything one moment at a time!

Thank You

Almost every time I pray I ask for my family and friends to be blessed and kept safe, but what does keeping them safe really entail?  What does blessing them really entail?

Do I mean for them to be healthy and kept out of accidents?
Do I mean for them to be comfortable and happy?

Will keeping them safe and blessing them bring them closer to God?  I don’t know.

In Jeremiah 14:11-12
The Lord said to me: Do not pray for the welfare of this people.  Although they fast, I do not hear their cry, and although they offer burnt offering and grain offering, I do not accept them; but by the sword, by famine, and by pestilence I consume them.

Was the Lord asking Jeremiah to refrain from praying for the welfare of these people because He knew that safety, comfort and blessings are not what would bring these people closer to Him?  Is He saying that that they will only cry out to Him, present offerings from their hearts, and truly come closer to Him in times of war, famine and pestilence?

I am not sure, but reading this made me take a step back and wonder.

1.  How often do I cry out to God in true joy and thanksgiving when I am safe, comfortable and blessed?  Do these blessings help bring me closer to Him?

2.  How often do I cry out to God in times of sorrow or conflict?  Do these difficulties and challenges bring me closer to Him?

God wants us to cry out to Him regardless of whether it is in joy or misery.   He wants to be there for us, He wants to be close to us and maybe sometimes we won’t let Him in until the difficult times arise.

God please help us to pray with humility knowing that we don’t know what is best, and help us to have faith that You do know what is best for all of us and will do everything in Your power to help us cry out to You.

Maybe my new prayer should be, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

What would you do?

Imagine that someone close to you (Jay) took the blame for something that a friend of his did (Evan).  Imagine that Jay got into big trouble at school and Evan took none of the blame.

If you were Jay’s parent or guardian would Evan be welcome in your house after this?

  • Would your answer change if you could see that Jay truly loved Evan regardless of how Evan felt?
  • Would your answer change if you could see that Jay truly loved Evan and you could see that Evan truly loved Jay?
  • Would your answer change if Evan apologized to both you and Jay for what he had done?
  • Would your answer change if Evan confessed his guilt at school and was give the same punishment that Jay already received?

How far must Evan go in order to be welcomed back into your house?

Thinking about this scenario really helps me put into perspective why I think we are only welcome in God the Father’s house through Jesus.  Jesus loves us, but God loves Jesus so much that he is willing to open His door only to those who truly love His Son.

Maybe our own personal answers to the above questions will help us see what God’s answer would be for us to enter His house?

Thank you Jesus for taking all of the blame and loving us so much!