The sword of truth

Oh how swift and sure the sword of truth flies…

For my 2 or 3 readers (you know who you are), please know that I would love to live by my words, but unfortunately I am still a poor and wretched soul speaking/writing as I would love to live, but failing 99.9% of the time to live this way and only succeeding when His divine hand intervenes to act through me.

I am a hypocrite and I am a gossip and I have brought pain to those I love all the while arrogantly believing that I was actually helping.  Oh how painful it is when the sword of truth pierces our heart.   I am not writing this to wallow in my failures and pain though, but I want to take these failures and this pain and glorify our sweet, wonderful, and faithful Lord.

Since Lent began I have been praying for a clean heart and oh how quickly He began to work!

Being a hypocrite and a gossip were not even on my radar.  It never occurred to me that these titles are mine, that they are on my resume, that they apply to me, but He came through and sent His sword of truth flying directly into my heart, piercing through the hardened layers  to awaken me and show me that oh yes these titles do apply to me, they are mine and I fall hard into these categories.

Yet, I do not despair, for our Lord has opened my eyes to these sins and there is no better way to begin repenting for a sin than first realizing that the sin is ours.

I know His work is not done in me and sweet Lord for this I am so thankful!

Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Pray with confidence

Sweet friends, we must pray with confidence in our Sweet Father’s ability to do anything and believing in full faith that our sweet Father in Heaven longs to answer and provide the purest desires of our heart!

Do not pray in fear, instead pray in confidence. In our minds and hearts we must release Him from whatever box we have tried to build around Him and place all confidence, trust, belief, faith in Him.

We might watch the news, see the homeless, see the refugees, see the slaves or look in the mirror and see our greed, see our sin and then for a moment teeter on the brink of despair, but look up, look up and see Him, the biggest, bravest, strongest and most amazing Father who knows it is all worth it, everything is worth it… and then smile as the sweet Holy Spirit renews our confidence in Him.

Thank You sweet Father for everything, thank You sweet Holy Spirit for our renewed confidence and faith moment by moment, thank You sweet Jesus for being YOU!

Sitting in limbo

Sometimes I feel as if our sweet Lord is letting me sit in a state of limbo because I refuse to fully accept His will.  He gives me opportunities to prove my trust and faith in Him, and I fail time and time again as I stress, obsess and can’t sleep at night over little situations in my life.

He could really shake things up for me by ripping everything I grasp so tightly away, but instead of feeling His temper flare I feel His love as He again gently gives me another chance to prove my trust and faith in Him.

Please my Lord, deepen my faith and trust in You, turn me towards prayer instead of stress and obsession, and continue to gently guide me out of limbo towards an eternal union with You!

The circle of giving!

Imagine a place where we passed on our things every day.  We didn’t sit around with full pantries, closets,  or attics, but instead cleaned out and passed on every night before bed.  Imagine the cleansing we would do, and the new opportunities that would arrive right on our door steps!

I am pretty sure I am a break in this circle, but how I would love to mend my broken piece.

Please pray for us my friends.  Please pray that the spirit of generosity will rise up in our souls like a burning fire, and there will be nothing that will quench this desire of ours but to give, give and give!

Tonight as He bleeds…

On this night our Lord will pray in the garden of Gethsemane, suffering in agony as He prays to the point of sweating blood.

What was flashing through His mind in those moments?  What caused Him such great emotional pain  that He physically sweat blood?

Maybe as He knelt there praying, life flashed before His eyes, but instead of seeing His own life, He saw all of our lives flash before His eyes. Our lives became His as He lived each of our lives in His mind, in those moments.  He saw every sin each of us has ever committed as His own sin.

He watched Himself committing these grievous, selfish, terrible and sinful acts. God, His Father, watched Him committing these grievous, selfish, terrible, and sinful acts.

He literally, physically, emotionally, and mentally bore our sins, and yes, I believe watching Himself commit our sins made Him sweat blood.

He Himself bore our sins… – Peter 2:24

Oh my Jesus…  please forgive us, thank You, please forgive us, thank You, please forgive us, thank You, thank You, thank You…

There is still more work to be done within me!

I don’t remember the exact context, but I was praying for my husband last week and part of my prayer was for something to change in him.  He didn’t know of my prayer for him, but within hours of this prayer my sweet husband shared a story of when he was young, a sad story that testifies again to his strength, kindness, consideration and the attention he shows others.  It is a story that he had never shared with me and a sad memory for him that breaks my heart.

Shame on me, shame on me to ever think that the work in me is done and I am ready to ask others to change.

The work we must do here is on ourselves.  We only fully know our own stories.  For everyone else we must have compassion, understanding, patience, kindness and love because no matter how close we are to someone, there is always something we do not know.

Jesus thank you for my sweet husband and for bringing us even closer.  Thank you for opening my eyes to even more of his love, kindness and strength and for gently reminding me that there is still more work to be done within me!

Sitting in comfort…

I prayed in a small, quiet chapel this morning.  As I sat there I prayed with my head bowed, asking for this, asking for that, apologizing for this, apologizing for that and then just as I was leaving I looked up and saw Christ hanging on the cross.

I was embarrassed to be sitting there so comfortably and so focused on myself without once regarding Him, without once humbly kneeling down to Him as He still hangs there taking on our sins as we continue to pile them on.

What are we doing my friends?  He should be a part of every thought, every intention, every action of our lives.

He still hangs there and we still wound Him… it is so sad.

Making it count…

I am not sure why, but from a young age I was blessed with the understanding that I should make my time spent doing things count.  In school I was never one to goof around while studying.  I never understood this attitude and I always figured that if I was sitting here looking at the book I might as well actually learn the material.  Whenever I went to an exercise class or practiced a sport I had the same thought and I gave it my all during practice without complaint.

I don’t think I have lost this blessing.  I still want to make my time spent doing things count, but now as an adult I am starting to see that I need to worry more about where I am spending my time that counts.

The more I read about Our Blessed Mother, the more I am starting to see my reading as a self indulgence and an excuse to learn more about her rather than really getting to know her.

I am starting to see that I must exchange my reading for prayer and I am feeling a sense of urgency.  I am not sure why this sense of urgency has come over me, but it is here and I must jump in.

My friends, please pray for me as I begin to pray.  I pray that this is not an empty resolution or a good intention that I will not keep.  Instead I pray to make my time in prayer count as I have done in so many other activities throughout my life.  Please join me in prayer and remember me in your prayers.

Let them be holy

I started praying a new prayer for my girls a few months ago.

Dear Lord, please let them be holy.  Protect them from my sins, vices and falls and guide them home with Your Holy Light keeping them pure and white and making them holy.

Guess what, since beginning this prayer He is changing me again! I have fallen in love with Our Blessed Mother, Saint Mary.  I was drawn to a book about her and now I long to pray to her, I look to her as a guide, a mentor and as the perfect example of mothering.

I didn’t tie these two events together at first, but as I think more about it I believe they are connected.  How could I, a person loaded down with baggage filled with selfishness, greed, unkindness, and sin ever hope to raise children who are holy?!?!  Alone in my greed, selfishness, and ever growing pile of wrong doings, it would not be possible, but with God leading the way anything is possible.

Thank You My Love for opening my eyes once more to one of Your Own Beloved, Your Queen, who so desperately wants to show us the Way, Your Way, Yahweh.

Our new prayer

I am sure you have heard this prayer, and have maybe said it yourself or with your children at night.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Angels watch me through the night
And wake me with the morning light

I grew up saying it with my sisters and started saying it with my children awhile ago, but recently we changed the words and I LOVE IT.  Now it more closely embodies my prayer for my girls.

I pray that their way home is straight and always lit with a light from above.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Please cleanse my eyes all through the night
So I may follow Your angel’s light