And Jesus said, “What do you want me to do for you?”

Sometimes we pray and pray and then pray some more, but do we know what we are asking Jesus to do for us?

I am often praying for forgiveness.  Forgive me for this, forgive me for that, forgive my sin from yesterday, forgive my sin from 15 years ago, etc.  This morning I was praying for forgiveness for something yet again, and I thought to myself or He said, “I have forgiven you, and I will forgive you again, and I will continue forgiving you as many times as you request to be forgiven, but when will you release your sin and give it to Me?”

When will I release my sin, when will I give it to Him?  He has already accepted it, He has already died for it, but have I let it go and actually given it to Him by accepting His forgiveness?

Have I become comfortable wallowing in my sin, remembering it, begging forgiveness and then returning to wallow in the comfort  of being an unforgiven sinner yet again?  I am not sure…. maybe?  I am not saying that we shouldn’t be praying for and begging for forgiveness often and more than once, but I think I have been missing a very crucial part to this prayer, a prayer asking Jesus to help me release my sin, give it to Him and enter the unknown territory of forgiven sinner by accepting His forgiveness.

Sweet Lord, sweet Savior, sweet Jesus I am in awe as I see Your amazing work more clearly than ever before through more specific and focused prayers.  I want each beat of my heart to be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving for You and I beg You to please keep opening our eyes to our sins so that we can beg forgiveness, repent and release our sin to You!

The sword of truth

Oh how swift and sure the sword of truth flies…

For my 2 or 3 readers (you know who you are), please know that I would love to live by my words, but unfortunately I am still a poor and wretched soul speaking/writing as I would love to live, but failing 99.9% of the time to live this way and only succeeding when His divine hand intervenes to act through me.

I am a hypocrite and I am a gossip and I have brought pain to those I love all the while arrogantly believing that I was actually helping.  Oh how painful it is when the sword of truth pierces our heart.   I am not writing this to wallow in my failures and pain though, but I want to take these failures and this pain and glorify our sweet, wonderful, and faithful Lord.

Since Lent began I have been praying for a clean heart and oh how quickly He began to work!

Being a hypocrite and a gossip were not even on my radar.  It never occurred to me that these titles are mine, that they are on my resume, that they apply to me, but He came through and sent His sword of truth flying directly into my heart, piercing through the hardened layers  to awaken me and show me that oh yes these titles do apply to me, they are mine and I fall hard into these categories.

Yet, I do not despair, for our Lord has opened my eyes to these sins and there is no better way to begin repenting for a sin than first realizing that the sin is ours.

I know His work is not done in me and sweet Lord for this I am so thankful!

Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Say it!

Have you ever been flipping through the channels and come across the end of a preacher’s sermon as he asks you to accept Jesus into your life?

When I was little I was in the kitchen eating a snack and a preacher was on our TV.  I started watching and became quite engrossed in the show.  At the end he asked everyone who truly believed to stand up and say it.  I stood up right there in the kitchen and said it. I was little, but I truly believed it in my heart.

Am I saved, am I filled with the Holy Spirit?  Many would say yes you are saved and this is all that must be done, but in the many years since this incident I fallen over and over again.  I have let false gods dominate my life many times, even now.  I have wandered far from God to the point that I have completely forgotten about Him for long periods of my life.

Yet through all of this, I have come full circle and again believe the answer to this is a resounding Yes!  I have strayed far, but looking back I see that Jesus has brought me back.  I have fallen, but looking back I see that Jesus has picked me up. I have sinned and still sin often, but so gently Jesus shows me my sin helps me to see how it is an assault against Him, a thorn in His head, a slash on His body and a nail in His hand, and I know any desire to repent and change is inspired by Him for me.

For almost 3 years I have been asking you to say, live and believe “It is our best life” with full faith that if we do this then it will be!

I am now asking you again with full faith to literally say (Out Loud)

Dear God I know I’m a sinner and I want Your forgiveness!
I believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay the price for my sins. 
Please wash me clean from all sin, shame, and guilt.
Jesus come into my life to be my Lord and Savior.
I ask this in your name Jesus. 
Amen!

If you pray this prayer or another prayer of surrender from your heart then I believe it is not the end of your story resulting in an immediate and easy road to your salvation, but instead the beginning of your part, your role to be played, within God’s great story in The Book of Life with Jesus as your Lord, your Savior, your Friend, your Beloved!

Say it out loud my friends!  We can’t even imagine the awesome power that our God has entrusted us with even before we decide to follow Him.

I have forever struggled with how God selected the names within The Book of Life.  Why would my name be written instead of anyone else’s name, how could He choose one child over another?  As I have written this blog, I think I am finally starting to understand!

He has given us the power to add our names to The Book of Life. Through a prayer of surrender, we surrender our individual stories that we have been writing and we add our names to His book so He can begin writing our stories within the grand story of His Book, The Book of Life!

Regrets…

Some believe that Jesus told Judas Iscariot to betray him.

In the Gospel of Judas, Jesus said, “But you will exceed all of them.  For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.”

If this is the case, then Judas acted out of obedience and faith in Jesus and he was given the strength to follow through with Jesus’ request.  Imagine for a moment being Judas once things had been set in motion and he was outside the loving gaze and light of Jesus.  Imagine the torture and suffering he put himself through questioning his actions, wondering if he had acted within the will of God or made a mistake.  Imagine the tortured thoughts he experienced as he second guessed his actions under the criticism and hatred of those who had once called him brother, his fellow disciples.

It is so hard to keep our hearts and our heads clear and open to God’s message, and then once we are bogged down with fear of a mistake or acting selfishly rather than within His will, we pull yet further away from Him and our faith is so quickly drained from us.

I think it is in these moments of fear that we have to breath deep, and know our faith is being tested.  The moment our faith begins draining from us, is moment that we must hold tight to it and thank God for our current suffering, questioning and lack of confidence in our actions or words.  We must continue to reflect even more on His perfect plan and remember that sometimes acting within His will might not be comfortable.  If we have stepped off the path, there is a lesson within each step and we must remember that He loves us so much that He will not let us stray far before He begins nudging us back on track.

I said something a few days ago that I so deeply regret, that I can now actually appreciate why some people take a vow of silence.  I am not sure if I was on track or off track with what I said, but even through my regret I am trying very hard to be thankful for experiencing these feelings of regret, for the increase in my desire to be pleasing to God (through silence if necessary) and for yet another opportunity to empathize with Judas.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for everything.