Agony

Kneeling by the couch once more,
I nod off, just as they did many years ago.
Position doesn’t matter kneeling, standing, sitting, plank…
In any position I sleep.
Watchful nights come easily to me 364 days of the year.
But on this night, the night He asks us to
Stay awake,
Watch,
And pray,
I sleep.
As dawn breaks, I wake up and I am sad.
He was alone, once again.

When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.  “Why are you sleeping?” He asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”
Luke 22:45-46

It starts with a seed

Imagine a tiny seed of Faith, something as small as a mustard seed gifted to us within our soul through His Grace. If we want it to grow we must tend this tiny seed through thanksgiving and prayer. As it grows we start to notice when our prayers are answered and we thank Him, and then begin noticing our unanswered prayers and thank Him. Eventually our thanksgiving becomes constant in all moments of our day and somewhere along the way this tiny plant of Faith flowers and a new seed is created, Hope.

After the success of one flower we continue tending our tiny garden with the same methods, constant thanksgiving and prayer, and then we notice a new light that has begun to fill our soul. It is a light we have not seen before, but we notice that it nourishes this new and tiny seedling in our soul and we begin longing to know this unknown light. As our longing and desire increases this new light begins shining on things that were previously not understood or known. With each new glimpse in the light our tiny plant of Hope grows and eventually flowers creating a new seed, Charity.

After the success of two flowers we continue tending our tiny garden now with a deep longing and hope for the light that reveals hidden mysteries around every corner, but always returning to constant thanksgiving and prayer even in the moments when we cannot see or feel the light. As our tiny seedling of charity grows, the light begins to shine on tiny glimpses of His Plan and we see the goodness and perfection of it. As our desire for the fulfillment of His Holy Will and Plan increases our thanksgiving and prayers continue, but are now changed as our requests decrease and our praise, thanksgiving and joy increase. Our sweet little plant begins to flower creating a new seed of True Charity, which is a great desire to love God above all else and glorify Him in everything, always.

It all starts with a tiny seed, but once we arrive at True Charity, we no longer wish to move the mountains of this world, for they His Glorious works for art. Instead we long for Him to work through us and with us and in us moving spiritual mountains to prepare the way for the fulfillment of His Holy, Good and Perfect Will.

Matthew 17:19-20 – Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

The work of prayer

Oh the great weight of joy we feel when we realize that we too have been called to the work of prayer, the work of tending the garden of each soul we encounter.

My Sweet Lord, let our prayers be to Your Glory!

Thessalonians 5:16-18 – “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 

His Work

We are all here doing His work, the work of our Father. He has many tasks to be done and has given each of us a unique and individual task for the fulfillment of His Holy and Perfect Plan. It is not our place to question the task of another, but instead to perform and complete our task well everyday with the intention that the work we do is for everyone, because it really is His work.

Let all that we do be done for Him with praise and thanksgiving!

John 5:17 – In his defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I too am working.”

Breath of God

Every breath is His because it is His breath that fills each of us with the breath of life. I am in humble awe as His breath soothes me in the darkness while I listen to the soft exhales of my sleeping husband. I am humbly overjoyed as His breath tickles me as my daughter whispers sweet secrets into my ear. I am filled with sorrow as I recall a sharp and hurtful word that I spoke polluting the sweet scent of His breath, and then I am consoled as I cry out, “Forgive me” and He responds in a gentle whisper sweetly carried on the fresh breeze of spring.

My Lord, I pray that You guard every utterance of my mouth so that the words I speak will never again pollute the sweet scent of Your breath, but instead will carry forth from my being to bring You Eternal Glory.

Genesis 2:7 – Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Fasting from Hallelujah…

In preparation for fasting from Hallelujah during Lent, I decided to say Hallelujah as many times as I could today, in praise of our sweet Lord. I repeated over and over again in my head at the gym, out loud in the car, while doing things around the house, almost all day. Later when I sat down to do my bible study lesson the final question asked us to write a psalm in praise of our Sweet and Holy God! It flowed quickly from me like water pouring out of a cracked and broken vessel.

I cry out an eternal Hallelujah,
From the infinite depths of my heart.
It fills the air with praise for our God,
Permeating everything until it fills the world and beyond.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

Our Sweet, Faithful and Holy Lord always prepares the way for us, we cannot go wrong if we listen and follow!

He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”
Luke 11:28

Precious Jewels of Time

We are often reminded that our time is precious and we must spend it wisely. This is very true, but we don’t often look at the flip side of the coin.  We often think only of our own time, but very carelessly toss away the precious time that others have taken to spend time with us or do something for us.  My sweet baby had her precious time very carelessly tossed aside and trampled yesterday and it really hurts, a lot.

As I think about it this morning, He has opened my eyes to an even greater sorrow. He has gently reminded me that I have done this to His other sweet children many times… oh please forgive me my sweet Lord.  He has also opened my eyes to an even greater joy.  He has reminded me that He treasures all of our jewels, especially the ones that the world casts aside.  Glory to You my sweet Lord! Thank You, thank You, thank You…

My sweet Lord, please forgive me and help me to treasure the precious jewels of time that others give to me so that I won’t be the cause of this pain to You again, and an INFINITE THANK YOU for treasuring and carefully gathering all of our jewels, especially the ones that the world casts aside and tramples.

Psalm 90:12
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Ephesians 5:15-16
Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Isaiah 45:3
And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness — secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.

Our Brother’s Keepers

On our final day, the day that we meet our Maker and Judge, we will each mourn.

Some will mourn and be filled with fear and sorrow when they hear the words, “I never knew you, depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!”
– Matthew 7:23

The rest will mourn and be filled with shame and sorrow when they realize how many opportunities they missed to help guide and bring others home with them.

So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the troops; for the troops heard that day, “The king is grieving for his son.”  The troops stole into the city that day as soldiers steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle.
– Samuel 19:2-3

Our sweet Lord wants EVERYONE to come home, all of His sons and daughters, all of our brothers and sisters, let us not forget that we are our brother’s keepers!

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
– Matthew 22:36-40

His Master Plans

… But God will not take away a life; he will devise plans so as not to keep an outcast banished forever from His presence.
2 Samuel 14:14

I read this today and was filled with gratitude and thanksgiving that He is in charge, the master plans are His!  I love that He changes them, adding and devising new plans with new paths to bring us home into His presence.

Thank You sweet Father for leading us home!

Cross my heart

Only when His cross is written on our hearts will it pour forth into all aspects of our lives.  It is then that the crosses we display on our bodies, in our homes, our yards will gain new meaning and power.  It is then that the crosses we bear and carry through our lives will gain new meaning and power. They will all become His Cross and it is here, at the foot of His Holy Cross, that Our Mother, Mary, waits patiently for us.

John 19:25 – Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.

My sweet Lord – please cross my heart!