Write it in the stars!

I am reading a book that talks about soul mates.  To enjoy this book you have to first be open to the idea of reincarnation.  If you can consider this with an open mind, then the book talks about the fact that you might not spend every life with your soul mate.

While reading this book I was thinking about this a lot and it made me wonder… what if my husband and I aren’t soul mates like I have always thought?  What if we are just heavenly acquaintances working together in this life? This thought made me so sad.

Fortunately, I usually bounce back pretty quickly.  I was sad for about a day, but then I decided there is no way for me to truly answer this question and maybe the answer hasn’t been written just yet anyway… maybe our free will comes into play as the question is slowly answered over the course of our lives through our thoughts and actions.

Therefore I am going to return to my original belief, that now has a little more substance and thought behind it.  We are soul mates!  Believing this with more conviction than ever, I now want to continue loving him, but loving him more, continue caring for him, but caring for him more, and continue connecting with him, but connect with him more. I want to find my joy in bringing him joy!

Then when this life is over and our souls meet again… we will have so much love in our hearts for each other, so many wonderful memories shared and so many lessons learned together that we will be soul mates… we will have written it in the stars!

Jesus said, “Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Constant competition is exhausting…

I went to get my hair cut today.  I went to a new place and they had an opening for me.

The available stylist was very friendly and asked if I had children so we talked a bit about my girls.  Then she told me that she had a new granddaughter, and pulled out her phone to show me a photo. Just as she was holding it up for me to look at she said, “I’m sure my baby is prettier than all of yours.”

I just laughed inside, smiled, took a look at the photo and truthfully told her that her granddaughter was indeed beautiful!  The remainder of the appointment was nice and she did a great job trimming my hair and adding some shape back into it.

I didn’t really think about her comment again until later, but when I did it truly exhausted me.  I was momentarily stunned all over again to realize that this lady I had never met was wanting to compete with me over something that is completely impossible to compete at.

Then in the next instant I was overwhelmed with memories of myself attempting to compete over ridiculous things throughout my life. How exhausting?  How pointless? How annoying for other people… sorry about that. :)

Jesus… thank you for opening my eyes today even if only for a moment.  Thank you for the reminder that I want to live Our Best Life and in Our Best Life there is no need to compare or compete because we are all seen with Your eyes of love!

Bottles at sea…

I have been a recluse over the last few months.  I haven’t had much interest in seeking out or calling my friends to talk, watching the news, or even sending out Christmas cards to my friends and family.

Today while I was running I was thinking about this and wondering why?  The thought crossed my mind that maybe Jesus has been sheltering me.  Maybe He has been protecting me from the competition and constant comparison of the world by taking away my motivation to talk with my close friends and others who could spark envy, competition, or comparison within my heart.  Maybe He has been giving me time to grow stronger and really imprint upon my heart the necessity to stay outside of the race going on in our world while still fully living in our world.

Maybe this is just my overactive imagination, but I still like this explanation, because today I finally called one of my best friends.  I was so happy to talk with her and hear about her life and what she has been doing over the last few months.  While we were talking though I felt myself being pulled back into the race, not because I compete with her, but because she has so many wonderful plans and ideas.  She is an amazing mom and wife.  She will soon be back in the workforce and I am sure she will someday start the amazing business of her dreams.  In our 30 min conversation we covered all of this and following months of talking to only the same small group of people, I started to question my plans or lack of plans, my ideas or lack of ideas and began to worry about where I am headed.  Luckily, although I felt myself being pulled into the race, I was aware of it which I hope is a start for keeping myself out of it.

As I was running home, I pictured all of us as bottles bobbing in the sea.  As bottles in the sea we don’t realize that it is impossible for us to sink as we are tossed about in the waves, dunked under water, and crashed into each other.  We are all fighting to stay afloat even though it really isn’t possible for us to go down.  Then by the grace of God, sometimes we float into a secluded harbor where we can see the beach and we know that true peace exists.  The waves slowly wash us in and then drag us back out in a repetitive motion.

Jesus thank you for the safe and secluded harbor You have given me over the last few months.  Please help me to remember that no matter how many times the waves pull me back, I am a bottle filled with Your spirit and I can’t sink.  Knowing this gives me faith to brave the open sea again and brave the waves with a new perspective.

Maybe on my next trip in You will bless me with a job to help You bring a few more bottles into Your peaceful shores!

Stop counting!

A friend of mine was talking to me today about a couple that she knows.  She was telling me how their relationship didn’t seem fair and how one person in the couple appeared to do 90% of the work.

I have been thinking about it some more and obviously I don’t know their whole story, but from the outside it appears that the beauty of their relationship lies in the fact that the two involved are not counting.

I think once you stop counting, the percentages can’t be calculated and they don’t matter anyway.  What matters is the teamwork, knowing you have a teammate who has your back and wants to support you and love you.

Jesus please help us to stop counting, work together, and remember that we all have unique gifts to contribute which can’t be quantified anyway!

Fearless

What scares you?  What scares me?

Can you verbalize it?  Do you even know what makes your heart start pounding, your blood run cold and your eyes glass over?

I don’t think I know for myself.  I am fearful of sitting down to think about and fully realize what scares me.  A few things sit on the edge of my mind that I am aware of, but I don’t want to verbalize them.  I don’t want to think about them for fear of them coming to be.

How do we attempt to live fearlessly with these fears lurking in the shadows of our minds?  I don’t think we can, allowing them to lurk gives them power over us.  I think we eventually need to realize these fears, accept them as our fears and then believe through faith that if these fears come to be, God will still lead us through the valley to an even higher mountain beyond.

Habakkuk 2:4 says it and Paul repeats it in Hebrews 10:38, “The just shall live by faith.” By faith is the way God planned for us to live out our lives, day in, day out, minute by minute.

I want to live fearlessly… I want to live by faith!

I have work to do, and if you are not already there, I hope you will join me, my friends!

When are we awake?

I am not sure if you hear a lot about waking up or about the next great awakening, but I have heard quite a bit about it in some of the documentaries I have watched in the last few months.

When I talk about awake, I am talking about being consciously aware of our ego and critically questioning our personal actions and whether these actions are being driven by our egos.  Then making an effort to minimize our ego’s influence over our actions.

The first book I read about this was, A New Earth: Awakening to  Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle.  I loved this book and I still consider it one of the first books of my own personal journey, but as I continue down my path I still question am I going the right way, am I waking up, will I ever be fully awake?  For me, I think it is a daily effort to wake up.  I still get caught up in worries about the future, regrets of the past and feelings, choices and actions driven by my ego.

One thing I have noticed though is that I feel more awake and more alive on days that I celebrate the joys and successes of others.  A news story was mentioned on my radio station the other day that helped me more clearly define a day when I am feeling more awake, Facebook Envy:  How Cruising can Kill Self Esteem by Wendy Sachs.

This story talks about how cruising Facebook can kill your self esteem when everyones life appears to be better, more fun, more exciting than yours.

This made me pay a little closer attention to my own activity on Facebook and I do think that I am more awake on days when I “Like” and comment on my friends photos, comments, shares.   Choosing to “Like” my friends activities is my quiet and small way to celebrate and be excited for them and the joys in their lives.

I am not sure when we will all wake up, but since so many of us are now connecting on Facebook, let’s use it as a platform to celebrate each other, support each, and love each other rather than a platform for comparison which will only plant the seeds of envy in our own heart.

James 3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

Jesus please help me to wake up a little more every day so that someday I can fully share in the celebrations and joys of all of my brothers and sisters throughout the world!

Who is your teacher?

I saw a documentary today with a man in it who had been searching for a guru or teacher since he was young.  He had found one and then the story went on from there, but it made me think.  Who is my teacher?  I haven’t been searching (at least actively or consciously) since I was young.

When we are not searching then who fills the space of teacher for us?

Obviously the answer is different for everyone, but I think I have always allowed my associations (including my television viewing) to step in and fill the void of teacher in my life.

Only since I have been a stay at home mother (with a little extra time, a lack of colleagues and a recent blessing of a lack of interest in television other than documentaries) have I for the first time in my life been indirectly searching for a teacher because no one/ no thing has been here to fill the void by default.

Jesus, please guide me to people, books, documentaries and any others sources that will teach me what You want me to know.  Please help me to prepare to be a sign post, a guide, a light in the night for others or maybe even a teacher if a student ever comes my way.

It’s Our Best Life!  The choice is ours, we must choose our teachers wisely and not follow others or ideas blindly or by default.

His words are enough!

A friend recently read a book about Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  I have had the documentary, Bonhoeffer, in my Netflix queue for quite some time and our discussion gave me the incentive to finally watch it. I really liked it and am very interested in reading more about Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

A student of his spoke in the documentary and discussed how his teaching was so drastically different than anything she had ever experienced up to that point in her life. He taught her to read The Bible as if God was speaking directly to her.  I love this!

This is just another reminder to me that I need to read The Bible.  I can and should critically listen to others, their thoughts and interpretations, but in the end I need to read The Bible.  I need to give God the opportunity to speak directly to me.

God, thank you so much for Your Word, for blessing me with a Bible of my own and giving me the ability to read.  Please motivate me everyday to read, study, and reflect on Your Holy Words.

When words aren’t enough…

I am not very good at defending what I believe or giving convincing reasons for my faith. A while ago I was in a discussion with someone and I became totally tongue-tied and could give no better reason for believing in Jesus than to just say, “Because… I do”.  For some reason I was thinking about this earlier today and for one moment thought, maybe I am crazy, but then I remembered sweet, consistent, reliable Puddleglum from The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis.

Puddleglum said to the witch:

“One word, Ma’am” he said coming back from the fire; limping because of the pain. “One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said. But there’s one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.

Even if I can’t explain why, I would rather spend the rest of my life following Jesus and trying to live like Him, real or not, than follow anyone else!

Jesus help us to remember that most of the time we don’t need any words;  when words fail us, we only need to believe in You, love You and follow You.  We need to have faith so You can shine through!

Windows

We were away for Christmas this year and our rental house was full of beveled mirrors reflecting rainbows all over the house.  The girls had a blast finding rainbows throughout the house all week!

Every time I saw a rainbow reflected across the room, I smiled to myself and imagined that each one was a tiny window into Heaven!

Jesus thank you for blessing us with so many windows… please help us to see through them and find You!