Agony

Kneeling by the couch once more,
I nod off, just as they did many years ago.
Position doesn’t matter kneeling, standing, sitting, plank…
In any position I sleep.
Watchful nights come easily to me 364 days of the year.
But on this night, the night He asks us to
Stay awake,
Watch,
And pray,
I sleep.
As dawn breaks, I wake up and I am sad.
He was alone, once again.

When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.  “Why are you sleeping?” He asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”
Luke 22:45-46

In a flash…

I know Christmas is coming and we are preparing to celebrate His birth, but over the last few weeks all of my thoughts have been of Him in the garden of Gethsemane, suffering in agony to the point of sweating blood.

What was flashing through His mind in those moments?  What could cause such great emotional pain that it transferred into physically sweating blood?

Maybe as He knelt there praying He had a moment of life flashing before His eyes.   Instead of seeing His own life, He saw all of our lives flash before His eyes as His life.  As He lived each of our lives in His mind, He saw every sin each of us has ever committed, but instead of seeing us He saw Himself committing these grievous, selfish, terrible acts.

He Himself bore our sins… – Peter 2:24

Thank You, forgive me, and I love You seem to be the only prayers that come to mind when I think of His agony.

Dream a little dream with me…

Today I have been thinking about our sweet Jesus and all of the pain and suffering He will go through for me, for you, for all of us.  I am so sad.

I keep thinking of Simon the Cyrene helping Him to carry His cross and Veronica leaning in to wipe His face.  I want others to be there for Him, for our sweet Jesus, during His pain, during His agony.  I have so many friends who love Him so much.

I want to a dream a little dream today.  I want to dream that my sweet friends are there with Jesus.  I want to imagine all of you quietly standing up and taking up His cross so that Simon’s hands are free to carry our Lord.  I want to imagine you sprinkled through the crowd and quietly leaning in as He passes to wipe His face, kiss His wounds, and gently care for Him.

We cannot change what happened, it had to happen, the scriptures had to be fulfilled.   Maybe we can dream a little dream to ease His pain, ease His suffering, and send Him our timeless love.

Thank you my friends for helping me to find our sweet Jesus.  Please love Him today, please care for Him today, and I pray with all of my heart that you have the honor of being with Him today in our dreams.