Tag Archives: God

Missing You…

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My friends, I am not sure why but I have been distracted lately.  Jesus hasn’t been at the forefront of my thoughts, instead I have been busy, running around, and missing Him.  We took a yoga class together last night, and usually when He joins me He is helping me through, but last night in my imagination He was sitting there watching me (smiling, but still just watching).  For some reason I have put Him aside instead of welcoming Him in?

As I miss Him, I am thankful for my previous posts that remind me that He is still here watching and waiting for me to call to Him again.

Please pray for me my friends, as you bask in His loving presence, that the veil covering me will be removed yet again, my eyes will be cleansed yet again, and again I will see only Him everywhere and in everyone!

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done!

There is still more work to be done within me!

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I don’t remember the exact context, but I was praying for my husband last week and part of my prayer was for something to change in him.  He didn’t know of my prayer for him, but within hours of this prayer my sweet husband shared a story of when he was young, a sad story that testifies again to his strength, kindness, consideration and the attention he shows others.  It is a story that he had never shared with me and a sad memory for him that breaks my heart.

Shame on me, shame on me to ever think that the work in me is done and I am ready to ask others to change.

The work we must do here is on ourselves.  We only fully know our own stories.  For everyone else we must have compassion, understanding, patience, kindness and love because no matter how close we are to someone, there is always something we do not know.

Jesus thank you for my sweet husband and for bringing us even closer.  Thank you for opening my eyes to even more of his love, kindness and strength and for gently reminding me that there is still more work to be done within me!

Melt and mold us…

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I heard the most beautifully worded description from a friend who wants to know her husband more deeply.  She prayed, “Melt our hearts into one.”

I haven’t really set a new year’s resolution for myself, but hearing this reminded me of my course and helped me reset my compass. I long for this and I think this is my prayer and my desire in this new year.

Sweet Jesus, please melt our hearts into one and then mold our heart as You will.

In a flash…

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I know Christmas is coming and we are preparing to celebrate His birth, but over the last few weeks all of my thoughts have been of Him in the garden of Gethsemane, suffering in agony to the point of sweating blood.

What was flashing through His mind in those moments?  What could cause such great emotional pain that it transferred into physically sweating blood?

Maybe as He knelt there praying He had a moment of life flashing before His eyes.   Instead of seeing His own life, He saw all of our lives flash before His eyes as His life.  As He lived each of our lives in His mind, He saw every sin each of us has ever committed, but instead of seeing us He saw Himself committing these grievous, selfish, terrible acts.

He Himself bore our sins… – Peter 2:24

Thank You, forgive me, and I love You seem to be the only prayers that come to mind when I think of His agony.

Sitting in comfort…

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I prayed in a small, quiet chapel this morning.  As I sat there I prayed with my head bowed, asking for this, asking for that, apologizing for this, apologizing for that and then just as I was leaving I looked up and saw Christ hanging on the cross.

I was embarrassed to be sitting there so comfortably and so focused on myself without once regarding Him, without once humbly kneeling down to Him as He still hangs there taking on our sins as we continue to pile them on.

What are we doing my friends?  He should be a part of every thought, every intention, every action of our lives.

He still hangs there and we still wound Him… it is so sad.

Say it!

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Have you ever been flipping through the channels and come across the end of a preacher’s sermon as he asks you to accept Jesus into your life?

When I was little I was in the kitchen eating a snack and a preacher was on our TV.  I started watching and became quite engrossed in the show.  At the end he asked everyone who truly believed to stand up and say it.  I stood up right there in the kitchen and said it. I was little, but I truly believed it in my heart.

Am I saved, am I filled with the Holy Spirit?  Many would say yes you are saved and this is all that must be done, but in the many years since this incident I fallen over and over again.  I have let false gods dominate my life many times, even now.  I have wandered far from God to the point that I have completely forgotten about Him for long periods of my life.

Yet through all of this, I have come full circle and again believe the answer to this is a resounding Yes!  I have strayed far, but looking back I see that Jesus has brought me back.  I have fallen, but looking back I see that Jesus has picked me up. I have sinned and still sin often, but so gently Jesus shows me my sin helps me to see how it is an assault against Him, a thorn in His head, a slash on His body and a nail in His hand, and I know any desire to repent and change is inspired by Him for me.

For almost 3 years I have been asking you to say, live and believe “It is our best life” with full faith that if we do this then it will be!

I am now asking you again with full faith to literally say (Out Loud)

Dear God I know I’m a sinner and I want Your forgiveness!
I believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay the price for my sins. 
Please wash me clean from all sin, shame, and guilt.
Jesus come into my life to be my Lord and Savior.
I ask this in your name Jesus. 
Amen!

If you pray this prayer or another prayer of surrender from your heart then I believe it is not the end of your story resulting in an immediate and easy road to your salvation, but instead the beginning of your part, your role to be played, within God’s great story in The Book of Life with Jesus as your Lord, your Savior, your Friend, your Beloved!

Say it out loud my friends!  We can’t even imagine the awesome power that our God has entrusted us with even before we decide to follow Him.

I have forever struggled with how God selected the names within The Book of Life.  Why would my name be written instead of anyone else’s name, how could He choose one child over another?  As I have written this blog, I think I am finally starting to understand!

He has given us the power to add our names to The Book of Life. Through a prayer of surrender, we surrender our individual stories that we have been writing and we add our names to His book so He can begin writing our stories within the grand story of His Book, The Book of Life!

A quiet breath in the darkness

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Have you ever read The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis?   My sister asked me to read them a few years ago and I am so thankful to her for it… I love these books!

In the book, The Horse and his Boy, Shasta is a little boy who is running away from the only home he has ever known and trying to get north to the free land of Narnia.

At one point in the story he has nearly reached his destination, but is left behind again because he can’t direct the horse he is riding.  He is very tired and begins to feel so sad and  so sorry for himself as he rides through a very dark night.  What startles him out of his woe and sorrows is a sudden fright.  He suddenly notices that someone is breathing right next to him in the darkness.

– From The Horse and His Boy by C. S. Lewis
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What put a stop to all of this was a sudden fright. Shasta discovered that someone or somebody was walking beside him. It was pitch dark and he could see nothing. And the Thing (or Person) was going so quietly that he could hardly hear any footfalls. What he could hear was breathing. His invisible companion seemed to breathe on a very large scale, and Shasta got the impression that it was a very large creature. And he had come to notice this breathing so gradually that he had really no idea how long it had been there. It was a horrible shock.

…

So he (Shasta) went on at a walking pace and the unseen companion walked and breathed beside him. At last he could bear it no longer.

“Who are you?” he said, barely above a whisper.

“One who has waited long for you to speak,” said the Thing.
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The reason I am telling you about this is because it happened to me this morning.  My husband is away and as I was waking up this morning I heard a quiet breathing in the darkness next to me.  When I first heard it I lay in the darkness just listening to it and wondering who or what it was.  Then I thought I must be hearing my own breathing so I held my breath for a moment and listened and it was still there, steady and quiet.  My next thought was that one of my girls must have quietly come into my room in the middle of the night and was sleeping somewhere on the ground or in the bed.  With that thought I sat up in bed to look around the room.  There was no one else in the room with me.

I laid back down and listened to the breathing for a few more minutes before my alarm sounded to begin a hectic morning which made me quickly forget the sound of someone breathing by my side.

Later after everyone was off to school and I was finally sitting down to a cup of coffee, I remembered the breath in the darkness and I thought of Shasta and Alsan, the High King above all kings, breathing next to him in the darkness.

What if our sweet Jesus was here with me this morning as I was waking up?  What if He was here waiting for me to acknowledge Him, talk with Him and ask Him what He would like me to do today?

I am sad that I missed my chance to whisper into the darkness, “Who are you?”, but thanks to Shasta’s example I hope I will not miss my opportunity next time.

We don’t sit quietly and listen enough my friends.  He might be here with us more often than we realize and with all of the noise and distractions we have setup for ourselves there is no way we will ever hear His quiet breath as He patiently waits for us in the darkness.

A worshipful life!

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Why do we try to eat healthy and feed our families good food?  Why do we workout and encourage our families to exercise?

For a long time I was trying to eat well and workout to stay strong, to stay healthy, to avoid heartburn, to live longer and most of all because that it is what people do when they grow up, they begin taking responsibility for their health, it is one of our rules.  Right?

About a year ago things started to change.  I didn’t realize it at first, but my workout was becoming a time of worship and prayer.  It was slowly becoming a time for me to empty my head of myself and think of Him, talk to Him, read about Him and sometimes just be silent and listen for Him.  I was becoming addicted to it not for the endorphins the workout provided, but to the time it gave me with Him.

Without realizing it I brought it into my yoga class.  I started imagining our sweet Love helping me breathe and ease into each position.  I imagined Him gently massaging the areas of tension in my legs and my back and then gently helping me ease out of each move.  I imagined Him sitting with me and holding my hand throughout the meditation at the end.  I have fallen in love with yoga and the precious moments it has given me with Him.

I am not sure why He has given me this Grace, but He has changed the intentions of my workout and my health and I have started calling it my worshipful workout.  He has removed my longing for the goals of this world and He has shown me that even through my workout He can and should be my focus and my end goal.

I am longing to change the intentions of every moment of my life as I care for and love my wonderful husband and my sweet girls.  I want every action to be done with Him in mind, for Him and with the intention of glorifying Him, pleasing Him and bringing a smile to His beautiful face.  I want not just a worshipful workout, but a worshipful life!

I want it this way so that someday when I breathe my last breath, He will be my final thought.

A hidden blessing?

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Do you remember the parable of the rich man and Lazarus?

Luke 16:19-26

“Now there was a rich man, and he habitually dressed in purple and fine linen, joyously living in splendor every day. “And a poor man named Lazarus was laid at his gate, covered with sores, and longing to be fed with the crumbs which were falling from the rich man’s table; besides, even the dogs were coming and licking his sores. “Now the poor man died and was carried away by the angels to Abraham’s bosom; and the rich man also died and was buried. “In Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torment, and saw Abraham far away and Lazarus in his bosom. “And he cried out and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus so that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool off my tongue, for I am in agony in this flame.’ “But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that during your life you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus bad things; but now he is being comforted here, and you are in agony. ‘And besides all this, between us and you there is a great chasm fixed, so that those who wish to come over from here to you will not be able, and that none may cross over from there to us.’

I was washing my hands today in very hot water after cleaning the bathroom.  The water was so hot that I had to take my hands out for a moment and then put them back in to rinse.  I noticed that once my hands had adjusted to being out of the hot water for that moment, it was even more painful to put them back in the water for my final rinse.

This is such an obvious point that we often forget about it.  Once we are adjusted to an extreme, whether it be temperature or a life situation, things become easier, they become more bearable and  more tolerable and then eventually become our normal as we settle in and forgot about our previous normal.

Could this great chasm really be a hidden blessing for those who choose Hades, because in His infinite wisdom He knows their endless suffering would increase exponentially with even one drop of cool water or one grace given from above?

Making it count…

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I am not sure why, but from a young age I was blessed with the understanding that I should make my time spent doing things count.  In school I was never one to goof around while studying.  I never understood this attitude and I always figured that if I was sitting here looking at the book I might as well actually learn the material.  Whenever I went to an exercise class or practiced a sport I had the same thought and I gave it my all during practice without complaint.

I don’t think I have lost this blessing.  I still want to make my time spent doing things count, but now as an adult I am starting to see that I need to worry more about where I am spending my time that counts.

The more I read about Our Blessed Mother, the more I am starting to see my reading as a self indulgence and an excuse to learn more about her rather than really getting to know her.

I am starting to see that I must exchange my reading for prayer and I am feeling a sense of urgency.  I am not sure why this sense of urgency has come over me, but it is here and I must jump in.

My friends, please pray for me as I begin to pray.  I pray that this is not an empty resolution or a good intention that I will not keep.  Instead I pray to make my time in prayer count as I have done in so many other activities throughout my life.  Please join me in prayer and remember me in your prayers.