The first Easter that I truly mourned for Jesus was two years ago. I cried as I went to bed on Good Friday as I finally scratched the surface of trying to understand how His disciples must have felt that night. My sweet husband held my hand as I cried and we fell asleep.
Last year I mourned again and I cried and prayed a lot for Judas Iscariot. I remember going for a nature walk with my family and my sweet girls holding my hands as the tears flowed.
I am not sure why I have been so greatly blessed with so many tears during Holy Week the last two years, but I pray for tears of true sorrow for my sweet Jesus to flow again this year. I also pray for you to join me in this great sorrow NOT because misery loves company, but because following our tears we will together rise to great heights of joy on Easter morning as we again celebrate that He is Risen, He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed, my friends.
May all of the glory for ever and ever be given to Him! Amen.
I love the song The Hammer Holds by Bebo Norman.
When I first heard this song about a year ago I thought of Judas Iscariot. I thought of the love he must have felt for Jesus when he first met Him. I thought of how fervently he wanted to follow Him, to be good and to care for and help the poor. I thought of the dreams he must have had for himself as a follower, a disciple and a friend of Jesus. He possibly imagined that God was shaping him into a perfect piece of art that would be displayed for all to see. Then I imagined his pain, his sorrow, his despair and possibly the numbness he felt when he realized that God’s plan was not for him to be displayed as a perfect piece of art, but instead God’s plan was for him to betray Jesus, betray the blood of a guiltless man. When I thought of this I cried and cried and cried for this man whom it would have been better for if he had not been born (Matthew 26:24).
Tonight I saw that a friend had taken the quiz, Which one of Jesus’s disciples are you? so I decided to take it too. Guess which disciple I am? Judas Iscariot.
WOW… I was shocked and so sad that this computer quiz calculated that if I had been there 2000 years ago and been blessed beyond measure to be chosen by Him as one of His 12 disciples, I would have been His betrayer. I would not have been sleeping in the garden as He prayed, but instead would have been wide awake leading those blind with hatred and envy to Him, my Love. It would have been me…
Ever since empathizing with Judas Iscariot through Bebo Norman’s song, I have prayed that Judas Iscariot only found the courage and strength to betray Jesus purely out of obedience to Jesus and faith in Jesus. I still pray for this to be true, and my hope lies in the fact that so many things are upside down and turned around from what they seem, our treasure lies not in the bank but in our love, the first shall be last and the last shall be first, the veil is still drawn, the truth is still hidden, but someday all will be revealed… and until then I am praying for Judas.