Sitting in limbo

Sometimes I feel as if our sweet Lord is letting me sit in a state of limbo because I refuse to fully accept His will.  He gives me opportunities to prove my trust and faith in Him, and I fail time and time again as I stress, obsess and can’t sleep at night over little situations in my life.

He could really shake things up for me by ripping everything I grasp so tightly away, but instead of feeling His temper flare I feel His love as He again gently gives me another chance to prove my trust and faith in Him.

Please my Lord, deepen my faith and trust in You, turn me towards prayer instead of stress and obsession, and continue to gently guide me out of limbo towards an eternal union with You!

The circle of giving!

Imagine a place where we passed on our things every day.  We didn’t sit around with full pantries, closets,  or attics, but instead cleaned out and passed on every night before bed.  Imagine the cleansing we would do, and the new opportunities that would arrive right on our door steps!

I am pretty sure I am a break in this circle, but how I would love to mend my broken piece.

Please pray for us my friends.  Please pray that the spirit of generosity will rise up in our souls like a burning fire, and there will be nothing that will quench this desire of ours but to give, give and give!

Keep us on Your path!

We went for a hike about a week ago and my sweet 8 year old and I sat down on a rock for a minute.  On the rock where we sat, someone had carved the words “Hate satan”.  I asked her what she thought about it.  She just sat there for a min and then said, “It isn’t right to hate, especially since that is what he wants us to do, he wants us to hate.  I think the person who carved this should have written, Don’t follow satan”.

I couldn’t have put it better myself!

Lord please keep us on Your path to follow You and only You!

Missing You…

My friends, I am not sure why but I have been distracted lately.  Jesus hasn’t been at the forefront of my thoughts, instead I have been busy, running around, and missing Him.  We took a yoga class together last night, and usually when He joins me He is helping me through, but last night in my imagination He was sitting there watching me (smiling, but still just watching).  For some reason I have put Him aside instead of welcoming Him in?

As I miss Him, I am thankful for my previous posts that remind me that He is still here watching and waiting for me to call to Him again.

Please pray for me my friends, as you bask in His loving presence, that the veil covering me will be removed yet again, my eyes will be cleansed yet again, and again I will see only Him everywhere and in everyone!

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done!

There is still more work to be done within me!

I don’t remember the exact context, but I was praying for my husband last week and part of my prayer was for something to change in him.  He didn’t know of my prayer for him, but within hours of this prayer my sweet husband shared a story of when he was young, a sad story that testifies again to his strength, kindness, consideration and the attention he shows others.  It is a story that he had never shared with me and a sad memory for him that breaks my heart.

Shame on me, shame on me to ever think that the work in me is done and I am ready to ask others to change.

The work we must do here is on ourselves.  We only fully know our own stories.  For everyone else we must have compassion, understanding, patience, kindness and love because no matter how close we are to someone, there is always something we do not know.

Jesus thank you for my sweet husband and for bringing us even closer.  Thank you for opening my eyes to even more of his love, kindness and strength and for gently reminding me that there is still more work to be done within me!

Melt and mold us…

I heard the most beautifully worded description from a friend who wants to know her husband more deeply.  She prayed, “Melt our hearts into one.”

I haven’t really set a new year’s resolution for myself, but hearing this reminded me of my course and helped me reset my compass. I long for this and I think this is my prayer and my desire in this new year.

Sweet Jesus, please melt our hearts into one and then mold our heart as You will.

A worshipful life!

Why do we try to eat healthy and feed our families good food?  Why do we workout and encourage our families to exercise?

For a long time I was trying to eat well and workout to stay strong, to stay healthy, to avoid heartburn, to live longer and most of all because that it is what people do when they grow up, they begin taking responsibility for their health, it is one of our rules.  Right?

About a year ago things started to change.  I didn’t realize it at first, but my workout was becoming a time of worship and prayer.  It was slowly becoming a time for me to empty my head of myself and think of Him, talk to Him, read about Him and sometimes just be silent and listen for Him.  I was becoming addicted to it not for the endorphins the workout provided, but to the time it gave me with Him.

Without realizing it I brought it into my yoga class.  I started imagining our sweet Love helping me breathe and ease into each position.  I imagined Him gently massaging the areas of tension in my legs and my back and then gently helping me ease out of each move.  I imagined Him sitting with me and holding my hand throughout the meditation at the end.  I have fallen in love with yoga and the precious moments it has given me with Him.

I am not sure why He has given me this Grace, but He has changed the intentions of my workout and my health and I have started calling it my worshipful workout.  He has removed my longing for the goals of this world and He has shown me that even through my workout He can and should be my focus and my end goal.

I am longing to change the intentions of every moment of my life as I care for and love my wonderful husband and my sweet girls.  I want every action to be done with Him in mind, for Him and with the intention of glorifying Him, pleasing Him and bringing a smile to His beautiful face.  I want not just a worshipful workout, but a worshipful life!

I want it this way so that someday when I breathe my last breath, He will be my final thought.

Making it count…

I am not sure why, but from a young age I was blessed with the understanding that I should make my time spent doing things count.  In school I was never one to goof around while studying.  I never understood this attitude and I always figured that if I was sitting here looking at the book I might as well actually learn the material.  Whenever I went to an exercise class or practiced a sport I had the same thought and I gave it my all during practice without complaint.

I don’t think I have lost this blessing.  I still want to make my time spent doing things count, but now as an adult I am starting to see that I need to worry more about where I am spending my time that counts.

The more I read about Our Blessed Mother, the more I am starting to see my reading as a self indulgence and an excuse to learn more about her rather than really getting to know her.

I am starting to see that I must exchange my reading for prayer and I am feeling a sense of urgency.  I am not sure why this sense of urgency has come over me, but it is here and I must jump in.

My friends, please pray for me as I begin to pray.  I pray that this is not an empty resolution or a good intention that I will not keep.  Instead I pray to make my time in prayer count as I have done in so many other activities throughout my life.  Please join me in prayer and remember me in your prayers.

A great prayer!

The other day I was helping my daughter out of the shower.  She walked into the open towel and I wrapped it around her.  She started to grab the sides, bundled it up and hugged it close.  I gently tugged on it to free it from her arms so I could rewrap it around her, but she held it tight and looked up at me with a laugh and said, “I am giving my towel a hug and thanking it for keeping me warm.”

I hope I can remember her sweet prayer of thanksgiving for all of the graces shown to me throughout my every day.

Thank you Lord for the blessing of my three sweet little teachers!

Teach me

  • Teach me Lord to praise You as the trees do, with their arms stretched wide day and night in praise of You.
  • Teach me Lord to be as flexible and changeable as the clouds as they move and change day and night guided by Your will.
  • Teach me Lord to be as humble as a grain of sand that knows without it’s presence the desert or the beach is not greatly changed, but gratefully realizes that it’s presence is required for the desert or the beach to be complete in Your plan.
  • Teach me Lord to be as reflective as all the waters of the earth so that I might reflect Your majesty back to You.

Thank You Lord for all of the ways you teach us!